Bathing suit season is almost upon us. For most of us gals, that can feel a little intimidating. We have a lot of various body issues, the "I need to lose 10 pounds before vacation" mentality, self judgment, and all manner of insecurities.
I recently went to the mall to get some new suits for an upcoming trip in the sun, and experienced the full range of emotions. I leaned full tilt into old body dysmorphic thinking. I cried. I panicked. Then I walked myself through it, reached out for help, and learned some things, which I wanted to share with you all. Maybe something will help spare you from the drama that I went through!
First: walk into the bathing suit scenario understanding that it is or might be more loaded than you anticipate. Be ready in advance for the onslaught of feelings, visceral ones, the way the feelings physically feel in your body that might not immediately register in your mind. Prepare yourself to guard your energy. Know that managing emotions that intimate and heavy will be more draining than you realize. Plan ahead and be ready! The feelings will be accompanied by thoughts, as all feelings are. Listen to the thoughts, hear what they say, and remember thoughts aren't always TRUE, and feelings are always temporary.
Then, if and when the thoughts and feelings do pop up, be in the moment with them; witness them. See them as real but also not necessarily true. They are there and they can be felt but they are something you can float up and observe too. Try and see if you can separate yourself from them.
Then, try these tips and see if they work for ya! They sure did for me! I survived the experience, found some suits I feel good in, and have recovered from the roller coaster. :)
Try lots of brands, lots of stores. DO NOT assume one store is a good representation of how everything everywhere is going to look and fit.
If you find yourself sliding into a negative headspace, phone a friend! For me, I was able to text pictures to my health coach and get an outsider's encouragement. It's incredible how, if you can't get perspective, having another person give you theirs can bring you back from the brink of despair. (If I'm your coach, you better be texting me!)
Remember MOST suits are geared towards younger kids, most (even at high end places) are sized smaller as “junior” sized. Do not get absorbed in what the tag says. Once brand's medium is another brand's extra small. Try on multiple sizes. In junior sizes I’m I’m a size or two bigger than what I “should” be. Similarly, most cuts aren’t designed for “mature”bodies. Like, almost none of them are. Do not panic.
Be patient while you figure out the right cut for you. What looks “so cute!!” On Instagram models might just not be the style for your body! And that’s FINE!!! Try on various cuts till you find what feels comfortable to you. There WILL be a flattering style for you; you just need to find it! As a sub-point, remember almost ALL of what you see on socials is photoshopped. Technology has done very little for body image issues. Any influencer who wants to (which is probably the vast majority of them) can add a filter to their photos to instantly make her look better than she does in real life.
BUY it if if feels amazing. When you find the one, it’s worth the price tag if it checks all your boxes.
Remember women often care way less about what men think of our bodies than what other women think of our bodies. I'm not sure why this is, but pay it forward and become the number one fan of the other women in your life, and in the dressing room, who are almost sure to be in the same insecurity boat as you are. And, for perspective, remember that most likely, at the beach or pool, very few people are looking at you, judging you, or will ever remember how you looked in a bathing suit. Most of us are way more worried about how we look, not you, so how you look to yourself is the most important thing.
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